I’m Not Actually a Teacher

What I really do, as every kid knows, is exist ONLY TO FRUSTRATE CHILDREN. And DAMN do I enjoy it!

Example 1, conversation between myself (ME) and a highly gifted three year old (SH):
SH: Ms. A, why isn’t Joey here today?
ME: Oh, she went to the moon instead.
SH: She can’t go to the moon! She doesn’t have any way to get there!
ME: Sure she does, she keeps a rocketship in her backyard.
SH: No, she doesn’t!
ME: Yes, she does. She told me all about it yesterday.
SH: No! I’ve been over there for her birthday party and she didn’t have a rocketship in her backyard.
ME: She got it as a birthday present after you left. She just forgot to tell you.
SH: SHE DOES NOT HAVE A ROCKETSHIP, MS A!

Example 2, a conversation between myself (ME) and a princess obsessed four year old who has very set ideas about gender and stuff (PR), complete with drawings!:

PR: Oh, Ms A! You drew a beautiful princess!
ME: Nope. She’s a queen.
PR: A queen? *look of confusion*
ME: Yep. *draws dragon* This is her best friend – he keeps all of those nasty princes away.
PR: No, the dragon kidnaps the princess and a handsome prince rescues her.
ME: Nope. This is a queen and her best friend, the dragon.
PR: But, Ms A, there HAS to be a princess!
ME: Ok.

ME: Here’s my princess!
PR: Where’s her beautiful dress? And why is she circles?
ME: She isn’t wearing a dress. She’s wearing pants. And she’s circles because princess comes in all shapes and sizes.
PR: But she has to have a beautiful dress!
ME: This princess doesn’t wear dresses – she wears pants, because she likes to climb trees and play on the monkeybars.
PR: Princesses wear beautiful dresses!
ME: Not this one!
PR: BUT SHE NEEDS A BEAUTIFUL DRESS.
ME: My princesses wear pants.
PR: But…but..

I know. I’m a terrible person. But it is just so much fun!