Goods and Bads

While a part of me is still wanting to run around the block waving an American flag and screaming “WHOOOOO!” at the top of my lungs after the election, another part of me is wanting to hide under the bed until life stops being mean.

I got asked to leave my long term sub job, which I was not heartbroken by, by any means. I call the other schools I have subbed for and let them know I am available again. Both schools sound..startled or more like, ‘and why the fuck are you calling?’

We just got a notice in the mail that Voldemort’s and my health insurance rates are going up $30 a month.

We just got a notice that daycare rates are going up anywhere from $10 to $25 a week.

And I’m unemployed.

We could pull him out of daycare, and I could stay home full time with him. Not really something I’m interested in doing, to be honest, but I could do it and I wouldn’t fell the urge to stab myself in the throat everyday, the way I do with teaching.

I could get any other job around here. But Blockbuster gave me a sad face and an ‘ooops! you just missed our hiring for the season!’ so Im really not sure if it will work or it’s worth it.

If I can find a job paying $6 an hour, and get full time work, we can pay for daycare and pay for health insurance.

It’s usually about this time that I start thinking, “I bet I could get a job as a teacher…” And every time, ultimately, I’ve made that choice to teach. I’ve chosen my wallet over my mental health.

I have a list of places to go today. I’ll dress nicely, smile pretty, cross my fingers and pray to whatever deity might be out there to just give me a fucking job already.

And then I’ll look at the school websites.