Whatever I Did in My Past Life, I am Very Very Sorry

Seriously, I have no idea exactly why the Travel Gods hate me, but they REALLY REALLY DO.

I mean, Ive missed flights in the past. I’ve been rebooked and flights have been delayed and traffic is inexplicably horrible for 3 hours leading up to when my flight is supposed to leave.

But, come on.

To start with, as Brandus was leaving Colorado – in his car, to drive to North Carolina, he got his oil changed.

This was a responsible thing to do, yes?

Well, then, he gets about 2 hours outside of Denver, and there is SMOKE! and OIL! and a weird PING! His car is now broken and needs to be towed.

He gets it towed, gets it looked at (might I mention that this is taking HOURS during which he is supposed to be driving?), and it turns out that the jiffylube neglected to tighten a bolt they needed to tighten. THANKS JIFFYLUBE!

they have agreed to pay for the whole mess, up to and including the tow and diagnostics.

Phew! I says. Thank goodness that’s over!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, RIGHT.

The next day, I take myself, two cats in hardsided cat carriers, 1 suitcase, 1 stroller, 1 car seat, 1 laptop, 1 diaper bag and 1 baby to the airport.

I walk in, walk up to the counter and say, hello! I am here to check in! I wish to go to North Carolina, and look! I have brought my cats, like we told you we would on the phone when we booked the ticket!

Oh. Says the lady. Your plane is delayed. Let’s try and book you on a different flight to keep you from having to wait.

AWESOME, says i.

Hmm. She says, United doesnt have anything, Delta is booked. Hmm. Looks like its going to be this flight. Sorry about that! We’re replacing the Captain’s Chair so it’s comfy!

Great! says i, thanks for trying!

Now, what needs to be checked in? says she.

As i said when i walked up here, i says, i have this large suitcase in eye blinding purple, and i have these two lovely kitties in their hard sided carriers for to go under the plane, as we arranged when we bought our ticket. also, i have a small child tugging on my pants, excuse me.

Oh dear! she says. Cats? We dont ALLOW pets under the plane!

*blink* Your website disagrees. Matter of fact, your website doesnt say a damn thing about it, and have i mentioned that we called and told the airline when we BOUGHT OUR TICKET?

I am so sorry! she says. Maybe we should reschedule you on tomorrow’s flight so you have time to take care of your cats?

WHAT? No! I have to go TODAY. And I dont have anyone in town I can leave the cats with!

…hmm. well, let me check with the other airlines and see about getting you moved onto one of their flights…

*seethe*

No..no, they dont have any openings. Well, you could carry them on into the cabin?

I dont have their soft sided carriers!

Can you go home and get them? We can rebook you for tomorrow!

STOP TRYING TO GET RID OF ME!

I should also tell you that I had a dead cell phone, had sent my charger with brandus by accident, and also had a very hungry baby trying to climb out of his stroller and up my leg.

I ended up going to the luggage store (which, thank joss was open at 6 in the morning) and buying two obscenely expensive soft sided carriers, and then CARRYING THROUGH THE AIRPORT 2 cats, 1 laptop, 1 diaper bag, 1 stroller and 1 baby. Oh, and one of the expensive soft sided carriers didnt have a functioning shoulder strap. Which I didnt notice until I had already gone back up to the ticket counter and put the cat in it. So, I have a baby in the stroller, the diaper bag in the stroller pocket, the laptop over the handles of the stroller. One cat on my shoulder, and the other sort of balanced on top of the laptop bag while I held onto it with one hand, and with the other, steered and prayed the stroller wouldnt over balance.

And my plane was STILL delayed.