Time Card Bingo

*eye twitches*

i just got called into the boss’s office.

not because i am in trouble, mind, but because he wanted to talk to me about my timesheet.

i go in there, and my timesheet is marked all over in red. Guess by who? THE ICE CREAM QUEEN*. The boss just “wanted me to know,” so i looked it over.

I have written down IN: 9:00 OUT: 3:30 most days, as that is my normal schedule. Some days are a little different, getting here at 8:30 or staying til 4:00 or 4:30.

She has crossed off and written in IN: 9:15. Or OUT: 3:28.

And, in some places, where i ahve LUNCH:12-12:30, she has written, in red, “WENT ON LUNCH AT 11:50.”

And my personal favorite, when i wrote OUT: 4:00, because i left the office at 2 and yelled, “INSPECTIONS! CALL THE CELL IF YOU NEED ME” and then WORKED for the next two hours? No, she has written, “LEFT AT TWO.”

All together? Her alterations? Add up to about an hour and a half of time. I raised my eyebrow and told the boss that if he wants to dock me that, he can, but that i dont lie about my time. i dont steal in 15 minutes. Plus, i ask, she sits back in that cubicle…does she have a camera hooked up in my office to monitor me?

He said that this mess with her has been going on long enough, and he will take care of it (which I will believe when i see it), and i will be paid my full amount.

I am not angry, oddly enough. I annoyed. And my last day, im
bringing in a poster board and writing down EVERYTHING she does that day and posting it on her cubicle wall.

9:03 – leans back and sighs – 5 seconds.
9:10 – fixes pantyhose – 10 seconds
10:00-bathroom – 4 minutes
10:05 -chats with office mate for 10 minutes about how hard her job is

….

12:00-monitors office mates’ discussion of what they brought for lunch – 2 minutes
1:00-accidently stabbed through eyeball with pencil by ravishing manager
1:01-bleeds and is very unproductive for half an hour
1:31-leaves for hospital, doesnt work for the rest of the day.

TIME WASTED: 4 hours, 2 minutes, 7 seconds.

honestly, IM NOT MAD. im a little boggled by the fact im not spitting fire, but im not. I just dont care. and i will be just as polite and professional as i always am, and will even resist the urge to inform her that im on the phone with a personal call, or to let her know that my lunch is going to be 1 minute over because i have to go to the bathroom.

I am cool. Like cucumbers and water. Or like, COOL AS ICE, which stars Vanilla Ice, and is just as bad of a movie as you think. I know, ive seen it.

And liked it.

*Ice Cream Queen got her name when my boss, myself, and another worker decided to go pick up Dairy Queen. When we got back, the BigBoss called us in, and said that next time, we have to invite EVERYONE, because we hurt the Queen’s poor little tender feelings.