Worthless, Useless, and Generally Inept

Sometimes i wonder why the hell im a teacher.

for those of you who know me personally, this is not a surprise. i graduated from college swearing i would never use my shiny new teaching certificate, and its only through a series of bizarre events that i am a teacher at all.

and this week, i wonder why.

i feel like a failure. I feel like i suck as a teacher, and i dont get things done, and all parents think im inadaquate.

earlier this year, there was evidently an altercation of some sort between two kids when i was on the phone. i didnt hear it, but it involved a girl’s fingers being squeezed hard by one of the boys, “and she screamed but you didnt notice.” the principal was called, i talked to kids, mom, dad, principal, and i STILL dont know what the fuck happened.

today i get a phone call from a social worker. a girl’s foster parents think she is doing nothing in my class, and so instead of calling me, they call social worker, and SHE calls me. and yes, this kid i have been unable to place in a job situation, through no fault on either side, and has been spending her free hours playing on the computer. the psych here agrees, lots of down time.

but what the heck am i supposed to DO about it? we HAD her a job, but the manager quit. new manager wasnt interested. went about setting her up an interview, that she didnt bother to tell anyone about until AFTER it had passed, so naturually, she didnt get it.

Im trying.

Im failing.

I hate being a teacher.